A Fire in the Attic

We went to Babies R Us on Sat & did some more Christmas shopping for John. I got him an abacus. Not what you think. It's this awesome little learning one that is entertainment for him as a noise-making "thingy" as much as it is a counting device. He had a ball in there, & April did too.

Rumsfeld? Gone. Bolton? Ditto. Who's next in President Bush's posse, er, um I mean "administration", will be the next to go? The house is open for wages.

I got into this discussion with the lady at the shop I frequent last week about the Foley scandal. Naturally, this woman is a tried & true, blind-to-reality Republican. I, of course, am red, white, & liberal. So this discussion came about casually when I asked her what she thought of the whole debacle. Apparently, she's of the opinion that a 16 yr old boy is a consenting adult (seriously?!), & that the whole scandal was "cooked up" by the left-wing propaganda machine, & that Foley was made to be a scape goat (her word was "martyr", but oh well...) because he was a republican. My patience wore increasingly thin throughout the exchange, but I reached the point of no return when she referred to the kid as a consenting adult, & called him a sicko (for... being.. homosexual, I guess?). I'm sorry, but wasn't it Foley who came after him? Didn't he come onto the kid? Failure to acknowledge that is either foolish, or deceiving. Maybe both.

Now, I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but it seems to me that issues like this keep pulling people farther away from unity than they should. I'm personally void of an official stance on same-sex marriages. It's touchy. You wouldn't think of a homosexual person any differently than your best childhood friend if you didn't know they were homosexual. But once it comes out, nearly everyone changes their attitude, even slightly. We become more p.c. about the way we talk, and suddenly become more aware & sensitive of their status as a minority. Why should they be lumped into a minority? Is there anything different in their appearance (except for those who live in Dupont Circle)? No! You wouldn't know someone was a homosexual until they came onto you. It's the fucking truth. So why should their rights be any different? Give me someone who doesn't think that "they" should have the same rights a "straights", & I'll prove to them that they're just as UN-American & dangerous as any radical with an RPG. The more I read back what I have written, the more inclined I am to say that same-sex marriages should be fine with us as Americans. We're a country founded on the principle of standing against oppression, & a freedom to be who you want to be. You know it, the right to life, liberty, & the pursuit of happiness. So when the hell did it become the American Way to quell the fires of Independence & freedom of humanity? I understand the other side of the coin; that God intended marriage to be between a man & woman. God is also one of forgiveness. Last I checked, he didn't list being homophobic in his prerequisites to get through the Pearly Gates. I doubt seriously that there's a sign on the walls outside Heaven that say "straights only". Where's the "Christian Love"? The tolerance, & understanding of fellowship with those who have been persecuted? Bring it back, please. Living an alternative lifestyle shouldn't be a sentence to a lifetime of isolation & displaced judgement. And fuck anyone who thinks otherwise.

Back to Foley, I have to say that I'm disappointed in his decisions. First, the man takes advantage (or attempts to) of young teenagers who are placed in the charge of our federal government for a life learning experience. Parents trusted this man to be respectful of them & their children. He betrayed that trust, just as he betrayed the trust of his constituents. He has made doubters of everyone in the faith of our government representatives. And then with his back to the wall, he cried wolf & claimed innocence on the matter, because he was a victim of molestation, which made him the way he is. I'm personally throwing the bullshit flag there.

When a person is voted into a public office, most notably a federal position of leadership, people have literally said "Hey, I like you. I trust you. Represent me, & make decisions for my future on my behalf. Make the changes I want to make my country better." Nowhere in the job description does it say "Please, oh please, make sexual advances & suggestions to my young teenage child, & make a mockery out of the history & people that made the United States the envy of the globe. Displace my trust in our system of government, & make me look like a damned fool for punching the hole next to your name on the ballot."

Should something scandalous come out against you, I think it would be the more honorable approach to be fucking stand up person & admit to it. Take some god damned responsibility for your actions & take the consequences for what you know you did. It's admirable in a world today where it's more acceptable to give an excuse. Excuses for everything. Just take responsibility. It's not like you can die from it.

Maybe I won't be understood. Maybe nobody will care about what I have to say. Maybe I don't make any sense. Is there any right in what I've said? Or is it all just the falling tree in the forest; if no one reads it, does it really matter, was it ever spoken? You decide. Decide for yourself. I'm tired.

Good night, & good luck...

Call It What You Will

It's Sunday night. Long week, long weekend. And more of the same ahead.

The Democrats took over Congress last week. A lot of people are all hyped up over it. I'd like to include myself in that group, but I'm surprisingly calm and cautious about it. First of all, I don't think it was as much of a decision by the voters to consciously elect the Democratic candidates, I think it was a matter of consciously NOT voting for the GOP. Not to take anything away from the Dems. I'm just calling it like I see it. I think that a large part of the voting public is still leaning conservatively. That's why a lot of freshmen Reps & Sens are moderate-conservative Democrats. Regardless, the people spoke, & they asked for a change in the direction of our country's policies and actions thus the change in leadership. And I have to agree that it's well beyond time for politics to be about the people & what's best for your country, as oppose to the character assassination & personal attacks to get the upper hand in a game amongst thieves.

Arkansas owned Tennessee!!! That's "P-OWNED" with a "P"!!! And what to show for it: A jump of 6 spots in the AP poll, and the thick of the BCS. Look for me on New Year's Day; I'll be wearing my Hogs jacket and slippers in front of the t.v.!!!

I've finally started my "Things I want to do before I die" blog. It's linked with the rest of my links off to your right. It's still in progress, so keep checking.

Jet is comin' to town on the 3rd of Dec. I'm crossing my fingers to be there. Their new album is just great. It's not a masterpiece by any means, but it kicks ass!!! I bet they're a great live band; energetic and just... damned good!!!

Marvel Melee: Courtney Love on drugs vs Courtney Love drug-free. Explain.

Good night, and good luck...

King's Horses

Book: Photographers' Market Guide to Building Your Own Photography Business, by Vic Orenstein
Music: "Bring It On Back", Jet

Out the gate, I have to mention that my Cardinals won the World Series Friday night!!! Alot of people will say that they don't deserve it, but I think that that particular demographic consists of people who are either statistical purists (who have beef with a team with such an inconclusive reg. season record), or fans of another team they feel should be standing in their (St. Louis' place). Go Cardinals!!!!

I've been giving serious consideration to defining my photoographic style and technique. I think I'm going to try working more on my b&w portraiture, and trying to get more of a nostalgic, slightly desaturated look. Try to capture people's personalities more in an impersonal setting (i.e catch them unawares). I want to evoke a nostalgic atmosphere that is both raw & powerful, while remaining grounded & unassuming Think mid-'70's and early/mid-'90's. That's a mouthful, and it probably doesn't make any sense to anyone but myself. Hopefully I'll be able to show you what I mean soon.

I hope everyone has had a great weekend. Fall is here, and actually, winter is so close. I personally detest cold weather. I'm convinced that, contrary to popular belief, Hell is 32 degrees with constant flurries and 15mph wind gusts. I digress. I'm abotu to start my spare-time project of putting together a photo "journal" of the list of things I want to do before my litetime ends. Look for me to link it here soon.

I've got alot of thoughts in myhead, but I'm at a loss for articulation.

Nov 17 - G. Love & the Special Sauce
Nov 19 - OK Go
Nov 22 - Citizen Cope
Jan - RHCP & Blue Oyster Cult (not together)

I'll tak to you again soon.

Good night, & Good luck...

Things to Consider

Snitch for good cash? Or go home everyday broke (but still cool)? What do you think? Let me know.

Candidates showed up this last weekend. Actually picked up with the staff today. I just got back from that shoot. I'm taking some time to wrap up some loose ends and I had some things on my mind that I wanted to get out before I lost them (which is why I'm here!).

This lady in PA used her infant son as a clubbing device during a fight with her boyfriend that apparently turned physical. Needless to say, shes in jail (keep her there, please!) and the baby is in serious condition. This isn't new news. The new news is that now she's claiming it was an accident. She said that she'd been drinking a little (like ya do when stupid shit happens), and she got into an argument with her beau. She then, in an obviously unhinged fit of anger, started grabbing everything she could pick up and throwing shit at him. One of these "things" happened to be her infant son (some news outlets have stated that the child is about 8 months old). I think the ladys full of shit. Who the hell uses their baby as a weapon?! It's unacceptable, no matter what your excuse is, or how much you drank! I hope she gets a nice long stay in prison to rethink the perceptions she has of children, infants especially. Chytoria Graham, you are a fucking moron!!!

Check out the whole story... Here

My Pops said something to April while he was here. Apparently in observation of the way I tend to be, he told her that I seem to be a "perfectionist". It kind of made me laugh, and then quickly shutup as if it were an insult I didn't catch for a few seconds. I thought about this again the other day while I was putting away my laundry in the drawers. I ended up reorganizing a couple of drawers to make more room for things. After I was done, I called April over to show her;

me: "Here's what I did. That way you know where things are if you have to put away any laundry."
April: "Yeah, I'm never putting your laundry away again!"
me: "What? Why not?!"
April: "It's way too organized for me. I think now that your dad is right; you are a perfectionist."

and now I wonder why nobodys hit me with a MACK yet...

My friend Taylantis is a supergeek. Besides being all-knowing in the technical world of computers, he gets excited over wierd things. Things like the new water-cooling system he got in the mail for his computer, and the declaration that he was going to "put it together tonight and then bring it to work tomorrow to show it off!". 'Nuff said.

Things that make me seem geek;

• I like to jam like a rockstar at Woodstock when I listen to music at home. Seriously. If there were ever a video of it, I'd die a million deaths in embarrassment.
• I like words. Not just big words, or little words, or foreign words. All words. The way they sound, their origin; it's all intriguing to me.
• A million of other small, nameless things that I enjoy. We'll weed them all out later.

If there were a biography being written about you, what would be a potential title be?

How would you suggest fixing alot of the things that are wrong in our world as is? Would you change anything? To narrow it down more, just name one thing.

I'm out of things.

Good night, & Good luck...

Just give me what I want...

...and no one gets hurt.

New look... and a new feeling to go with it.

There's this couple that lives about four houses down from us. Young couple; maybe younger than April and me. They have a baby boy, a little older than John. Well, they don't have a car, and my impression is that they're struggling to get their family on track, at least financially. I feel for 'em. My heart really goes out to them. I saw them last night walking up the hill from the store to their house with a couple of bags and the stroller. It's a couple of miles up & down hill from our neighborhood to the store. throw in the earlier sunsets, and it's a long night going home. So I have them a ride home. Left our stroller by the road so I could fit theirs, let their little boy use John's carseat, and drove them to their home. Then I went back and picked up our stroller. And you know, I'll keep doing that whenever I see that they need a ride, because I know ther were a lot of people doin' that for me in my hours of need!

It made me feel a smile inside myself. I don't know if I'd really been myself in that way lately but it doesn't really matter now. Doing things like that for people who need help gives me the hope that maybe they will "pass it on" when the situation is reversed for them. If more people thought like that, I don't think we'd be in as much trouble as we're in.

With no real good place for transition, we'll just move on...

Kudos for my Cards!!! Third straight LCS. I know, they're not the powerhouse they've been the last couple of years, and a lot of people think they don't really deserve to be in the postseason. Nobody seems to be saying that about the Tigers, who actually did blow their division lead. I digress... the fact is, they're there, and they played good baseball to get to face New York. You have to give these guys credit for working with what they have; Izzys gone for the season, Mulder (the number 2 starter on the staff) has been out since August. Edmonds and Eckstein have barely seen the field, let alone been able to contribute to their potential. Plenty of guys have stepped up and done the job that needed done. I want to see this "new look Cardinals" team play Oakland/Detroit in a week and a half time.

N. Korea tested a nuclear bomb earlier this week... I won't even touch this circus tent. It's too much. Frustrated is the word that comes to mind. And a lot of it.

Only 28 more shopping days 'til Election Day. There isn't one person on the ballot I checked out that inspires me. Campaigns have become recycled food fights. The only thing that changes are the names. It saddens me. Robin Williams is right; the whole thing is just a really sad joke...


There shouldn't be an "upper hand" or "power struggle" for government to really work. Talking shit and trying to outwit your opponents with insults and vicious barbs just shows that you don't have the integrity or respect of the people's interests to do the job right. I've had it with all of that bullshit.

Anyways...

in my tiny block of the world, John is getting better at the act of crawling. He's also taking steps when we hold his hands and walk with him. He started eating meat the other night.... I can't believe how big hes gotten. I'm such a proud Papa!!! I wish I could take him with me everywhere.

I'm still in the planning stages for my studio. Working on a forecast budget and expenses for the equipment. If anyone has any input, or guidance, I'm all for it!

I talked and rambled uncontrolled for way too long. I probably used too many parenthesis commas and way too many words. I'll try to start doing better.

Good night, and good luck...

4... Finally.

I'll be brief. It's late, I'm tired, and thinking about this makes me a little depressed.

Thank god the Cards finally won tonight! It only took them a week to remember how to do it! Pujols saved the day again tonight. And ho stoked am I to see Jimmy Edmonds back in the lineup this last week!!! Now's the time to light a fire in someone's ass because...

A three way tie between St. Louis, Houston, and Cincy wouldn't favor the Cards at all. First, a make-up game at home on Monday against the Giants (which they have to win!), then a road game either against Houston or Cincinnati on Tuesday. And after they win that game (which they'd have to in order for there to be an "and") another road game on Wed against whichever team is left.

The best thing to do is increasingly-overlooked option three; just win out to win the division straight. No tie-breakers, no arguments or confusion. Just win the next 4 games and take the division championship into the playoffs. Then it's a clean slate! Just play good baseball.

I won't be resting easy until I see that last "W" and my boys at the top of the division after the 1st.

Good night, and good luck.

I'm Just Havin' Fun, I'm Just Gettin' Started, Y'all!

Track of the moment: "The Birdman", Our Lady Peace

It's definitely fall. A raimstorm that scatters colored leaves, and two consecutive days and nights of temperatures below 60 will make that notion a cold sense of reality. Still, it's not all bad. I think that this is probably my favorite time of year if for no other reason than the feeling I get. I mean, it's the time for everything to really change. People say that spring is the time for renewal and change, but I think autumn fits the bill better. Think of it; yeah, spring gives you green grass, and warm weather. The birds come back from an extended vacation. Spring is even the traditional time of year for all things.... fertile(what?!) But it never eally delivers on the promise of change and renewal. By the time you really notice that spring is in full effect, it's already given way to summer. For me, it's just 90+ days of pollen and rain, pollen, and rain mingled with the obnoxious sounds of birds streching their out of tune vocals after 6 months of inactivity.

But autumn... the changes are so vivid, Stevie Wonder'd have a double-take. it jsut hits you; from crazy heat and humidity to really cool and nonexistent humid factor. The leaves on the trees change color faster than your mom changes boyfriends!!! I feel satisfied with it. Autumn delivers in so many ways that spring could only dream of. This, is the season of change.

April and I had an interesting conversation tonight about a terrific mix of topics, from remeniscing about the week L.J. (Littls John) was born, to our siblings, and taking advantage of our time here in the world. It was quite interesting. It made me think of this idea I had about a motnh or so back...

This guy I know was talking to me about all these things he wanted to do before he died. He sounded so passionate about it all, and really hopeful. So I asked if he'd ever thought about putting any of it to action. His expression read blank and puzzled. He had only thought about half the dream. Not once had he ever considered doing any of the great things he "so desparately" wanted to do before his card was up. Seems like such a waste of time to me. I completely understand that, when it comes down to it, dreams are really all we have. But if you're capable in nearly every way, there's no good reason for not following your dreams, wherever they may take you or how risky/uncertain the may seem. Take the chance... the biggest risk I could never live with is the risk of having too many "what if"'s at the end when I contemplate my life.

I digress.... my intended point was this thing I had thought up because of that conversation. And so anticlimactically, it's this: so many people make a list of these sort of dreams (i.e. "Things to Do Before I get Married", "Things to do Before I Turn 30", etc.). I thought I'd take my a bit further. I'm going to make a book with pictures, images of the things I want to do, and places I want to see before I die. I'v ebeen slowly formulating that list in my head before actually putting it to paper, but what really got my gears turning was my Dad's visit last week. Let me elaborate for a bit He told me that when he was in the hospital back in March after his last heart attack, he was genuinely scared for the first time in his life about dying. That's not a splash of cold water, that a migraine-inducing pelt from a hail-stone! He's made it a poin in the past year to see every one of his grandchildren, to do more things that he wants to do, and to live as much as possible. While that's great advice to give anyone, it's much harder to practice when the world is so fastpaced and oriented around the aesthetics of monetary wealth. But my dad has come to embody that particular aspect of the American Dream; he's becoming quite proficient at playing the guitar (who knew he'd wanted to play his whole life?!), he's making a trip in the coming weeks to see the only other grandchild he hasn't seen yet, he came out here to see his youngest grandson (and namesake) and his daughter-in-law. He's the youth director at his church, he's been on retreats and camping outings more often this year than his entire life before, and he's playing baseball/softball again.

I seem to be bragging about my dad, and y'know what, I am. I'm really proud of him for the things he's done. I'm glad that he's still able to teach me so much about this kind of stuff.

That being said, my "picture-list" is going into full effect very soon.

If you read this, I'd like to know:
What is the one thing that you'd like to do most of all before you die?

Feel free to send pictures. I'll try to post some of them in my next entry. I'll give you some of mine then too.

'Til then,

good night, and good luck...

Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is

Song of the moment: "Heard the World" - OAR

My Pops is comin' in tonight. I'm really jazzed, and a bit nervous. I haven't seen him in almost two years (longest span of time since he was in the Corps). This will be the first time for him to meet April and, of course, his Grandson John. I'd love for this trip, as brief as it may be, to be great and memorable. I can't wait for him to see my family! Maybe I'll take him into D.C. and show him some sights... now if only I can get a hold of the camera for the day!

_________________________________________________________________________

Is it just me, or is the idea of a military tribunal so... unethical? Should the U.S. really be trying to play world police to this extent? Or to any extent? Trying to impose democracy on another country whos basic beliefs are almost contradictory to a democratic state the way the U.S. knows it is the 21st Century equivelant of Rome trying to bring advanced lifestyles through the rest of the Eastern known world through military conquests and corrupt beaurocratic governors. And the military tribunals? It just doesn't say "U.S.A.!!!" to me. The two ideas don't mesh at all.

Hmmm...

If you're looking for a reason to get wild tonight... it's that half-way mark to St. Paddy's Day! There you are, go nuts!

Remember, a cookie is just a cookie, but Newtons... well, they stick to the roof (cieling?) of my mouth.

Good night, and good luck...

Lacking Principle, Anyone?

First, let me address the obvious; I'm not sure how, or why, but my past posts are gone, and I'm not sure how to get them back. I can still see them when I go to the url for "Consequence", but I can't edit them or anything. I've tried sending multiple inquiries to Blogger, but apparently my words have fallen on deaf ears. (shakes fist in anger and frustration)

Life is, well, in progress. A bit better every day. The family's doin' fine. John is growing like the oak tree that springs up overnight. April is doing great too!!! She finished a couple of blankets recently that she had been working on. Kudos to her! I'm trying to teach her some more basics about using a camera, to teach her a new skill she can develop.

Tomorrow's the big day. Five years since the face of humanity changed completely. Five years... that have felt like an eternity. Every day since then has brought news events in spite of their undeniable distinctions, are more regurgitated than ever; people kidnapped, bombs exploding, innocents dying, bodies found, terrorist group releases audio/video tape, President Bush calls for resolve against "Islamic fascists" (WTF?!?!), more bombs explode, more innocents found slaughtered, etc. It's depressing. Good news isn't hard to come by, but why would any news conglomerate want to print or broadcast a story about a group of young kids who worked had to raise $10,000 for the fight against world poverty when there are millions to make from political sponsors by airing proselytistic inculcations that favor one extreme or another. I digress...

I've been doing research, when I can, about Mohammad Khatami, the former President of Iran. I was intrigued by his pro-democratic views, his ideas for the world, so I began to research his work. I don't agree with all of his views, but alot of them (alot of major opinions of huge issues) are congruent with my own. His dissatisfaction with the policy that the U.S. has adopted in the Middle East (that has, and will continue to increase extremism as well as further the negative sntiment towards the U.S. that has begun burgeoning), and his thoughts on terrorism, politics with ethics, and Dialogue Among Civilizations. He does have an opposing view on Hezbollah-Israel, but I think he has true convictions for that.

The future seems so fragile now; like an apple hanging onto it's weakened treelimb by the tiniest of threads, wavering dangeruosly close to oblivion with every hint of a breeze. Something's gotta give somewhere, or we won't have to wait for the next ice age before we're thrown back into pre-historic living.

Love each other... love yourselves, but love each other too; regardless of what the other person looks like. A whole world shares the same air, the same Sun, same Moon, same hopes, dreams, fears. We're all made in the same manner... so let's live in those similarities, rather than dwelling on the differences.

That's it... for now.

Good night, and Good Luck...